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JizzleJazzle's Horoscope April 1 - April 7, 2011

April 4, 2011NewsComments138 Views

It's time to fight back, get nasty and then relax with a vacation.

Aries, Leo and Sagittarius:

This is the week for snatching wigs because some folks must not know about you and are attempting to destroy your name. So when the backstabbers

start throwing their knives this week pull out a ball and chain like Gogo from "Kill Bill," and get to swinging.

Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo:

You're feeling like Dionne Warwick on "Celebrity Apprentice" this week: old, grumpy and sick and tired of NeNe Leakes. But it's all good because when you feel this way just shout back, "I got your number hussy."

Libra, Aquarius and Gemini:

You're gonna feel undervalued this week just like Toni Morrison who was fist pumped in the stomach and dumped on by a giant tanned ball that smells like liquor (Snooki). So maybe its time for you to get dirty and remember that good things come to those who steal 'em.

Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces:

Sometimes we all need a vacation. You know just a little getaway to roam around aimlessly, get drunk and end up in unfamiliar places: just ask the Bronx Zoo cobra.

I'm JizzleJazzle and remember don't be good, be fabulous.

 

April 4, 2011NewsComments138 Views