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JizzleJazzle's Horoscope April 15 - April 21, 2011

April 17, 2011NewsComments

Another week, another list of insulting readings.  Hey, at least I'm keeping it real.

 

Aries, Leo and Sagittarius:

Sometimes you gotta air a trick out.  So this is your week to tweet that pic of the drunken guy who pisses in front of your building door, upload that YouTube video of the neighbor who flashes you and post those email messages from your ex who harasses you with nude shots of his/her new gym body.

 

Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo:

 

After a certain age a parent should not have to remind their child to wash their hands.  However I feel like a parent on endless repeat as once again, I have to remind you to wash your hands clean of all the negativity around you.  But this week I'm dropping the soap from the rope.  Good thing for you that's just a clever line and not an actual vision of you bent over in a jail shower room.  Good luck.

 

Libra, Aquarius and Gemini:

 

Try not to be too sensitive this week.  No one wants to finish a night of passionate love making by cradling you in their arms, wiping green snot from your nose and saying childish gibberish to make you feel special.

 

Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces:

 

Being anal can be a good thing but not when you're outside of the bedroom or away from a well hidden bush in the park after midnight.  So stop complaining and enjoy life a little. I'm JizzleJazzle and remember don't be good, be fabulous.

 

April 17, 2011NewsComments