JizzleJazzle's Horoscope April 16 - April 22, 2010
Aries, Leo and Sagittarius:
You're one of the more confident zodiac signs and you love to show what you're working with. Nothing wrong with that but this season let's try and keep it a little classy, OK?! So to all my "forty and I gets dirty" and "teen means I dress like a tease" sisters let's try and leave the super mini's and low-cut-to-the belly tops alone this season. Work your class and less of you're a**!
Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo:
You're used to covering up but walking around like you're in some winter time warp this season is not gonna get you any kudos, or laid for that matter. It's been awhile, ain't it baby?! So ditch the bulky winter jacket and embrace more form fitted attire. Trust me you'll rediscover what the good Lord done blessed ya with.
Libra, Aquarius and Gemini:
Last week I got on you for being unorganized and this week I'm getting on you for the same thing when it comes to your clothing. You're the type who dares to be caught in daylight with rollers in her hair, wearing pajamas to the store and bathing suits as halter tops. It's time you look in the mirror and give yourself a big 'ole slap in the face. Once you organize your closet you'll find some pieces that will make you look hot and not a hot stinking bowl of mess!
Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces
You try, you really, really, try and that's why I'm going to try my best to put this nicely: stop making a damn fool of yo'self! Ok, that wasn't as tactful as I had hoped but you know I only say it 'cause I love you. I do not want to catch my ladies rocking the high water Capri's (yes there is such as thing) or my dudes rocking their winter Tims with shorts. It just ain't a good lock. Ya smell me?!
I'm JizzleJazzle and remember don't be good, be fabulous!