JizzleJazzle's Horoscope April 23 - April 29, 2010

April 23, 2010NewsComments

We all gotta work but don't let work, work the hell out of you. Here are my tips on how you can succeed in the workplace this week.  Side note:  If you're reading this between the hours of 9am-5pm then I guess you ain't working that damn hard!

Aries, Leo and Sagittarius:

You can just sit back, relax and coast this week since for some reason or other the Gods are just throwing themselves at you.  You don't have to kiss a**, bust you're a** or do anything a** related to get praise from co-workers and friends this week (unlike most video vixens, ahem)!

Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo:

Don't be so stubborn this week at work because it could cost you dearly.  Sometimes you have to listen to that little old lady in the corner cubicle who smells like she eats moth balls and farts month old sour milk.  So when she invites you over to heed some advice go on-just bring a gas mask!

Libra, Aquarius and Gemini:

Sometimes you got to give a little to move ahead and this week is all about taking a backseat and being a team player.  Nobody likes a bossy person low on the totem pole.  So when you feel like objecting just punch yourself in the mouth and go along with the team.  Trust me it's worth the pain.

Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces

Stop being so damn nice this week!  You've got co-workers that are taking advantage of you honey child!  They got you bending over backward and ain't using no lube!  Child how can ya stand the abuse?  So next time a co-worker throws their work in your lap you open your legs and let it fall to the ground and make them bend over backwards.  No lube, honey!

I'm JizzleJazzle and remember don't be good, be fabulous!


April 23, 2010NewsComments