JizzleJazzle's Horoscope April 30 - May 6, 2010

April 30, 2010NewsComments

It's almost summer and everyone wants a hot beach body.  Check out my tips on attaining a hot look this summer.

Aries, Leo and Sagittarius:

You're as stubborn as they come.  You got to go and pig out, gain about 30 lbs. and enter depression before you even consider taking health advice.  So I'm not gonna waste my breath stressing how important it is for you to listen to those around you offering health tips.  I guess I'll see you on the buffet line, honey!


Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo:

You've got a curious brain this week.  With so many diets, exercises and weight loss options on the market you're bound to explore them all.  However, simultaneously taking a coffee enema, wrapping yourself up in a sauna suit, submitting to gastric bypass surgery and poppin' weight loss pills is probably not the best combination.  So try not to get too carried away, ok boo!

Libra, Aquarius and Gemini:

You're a tad-wee-bit sensitive this week but baby you got to shake that thing.  No matter what anyone says know that beauty comes from the inside, deep down within your groin-I mean heart.  Hehe.  So look in the mirror and known that you're one fierce, sexy hot thang and spread that jelly all over somebody's peanut butter.

Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces

Don't be so hard on yourself this week.  You may not be seeing results as quickly as you'd like but give it time.  Embrace the period of transition from not being able to find your magic spot because of your overhanging belly to now seeing it in full effect.  So park that behind somewhere and let the positive you step forward and shine.


I'm JizzleJazzle and remember don't be good, be fabulous!



April 30, 2010NewsComments