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JizzleJazzle's Horoscope August 5 – August 11, 2011

August 5, 2011NewsComments151 Views

Real is my middle name.

 

Aries, Leo and Sagittarius:

Your desires and expectations will be supported this week by the planets. What won't be supported are those breasts. 'Chile get a decent bra for them tig 'ole bitties.

 

Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo:

You need to remain as focused as possible on the future this week. Which means no looking at old photo albums of when you were actually cute and had some sense in your head.

 

Libra, Aquarius and Gemini:

The opposite of what's above is true for you. That's because I don't see much of a future for you right now, honey.

 

Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces:

Your instincts and hunches are sharpened this week. Unfortunately so is the hump on your back. Time to get that one fixed.

 

I'm JizzleJazzle and remember don't be good, be fabulous.

 

August 5, 2011NewsComments151 Views