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JizzleJazzle's Horoscope Dec 24 - Dec 30, 2010

December 24, 2010NewsComments

'Tis the season.  Read on.

 

Aries, Leo and Sagittarius:

Ho, ho, ho.  Yup, I'm calling your name.  Christmas is not the time to go being promiscuous and all so the only gifts you should be unwrapping should be the ones in a box not through the zipper.

 

Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo:

Sometimes being alone for the holidays is the best thing.  You don't have to deal with annoying family members and feel the pressure of giving the perfect gift.  Instead you get to stare at the four walls in your apartment and watch paint dry.  On second thought...

Libra, Aquarius and Gemini:

You're always going the extra mile for the holiday season.  You make sure to get everyone the right gift and decorate your house like you're Santa's mistress.  But what do you get in return?  A bathrobe?  A figurine?  Tupperware?  Honey, it's time you cut back on all the giving and make sure you're the one getting this year.

Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces:

Don't be afraid to add a little spice to that eggnog this Christmas.  You're going to need it to get your family through the pressure of being in the same room around each other.  We know your uncle's are gonna want to eat up all the food; your aunt's gonna get depressed going down memory lane; your grandmother might have a stroke from the way your nieces and nephews use profanity and your cousins and 'em won't stop gossiping for nothing.  So just get everyone drunk and hope they pass out.  Merry Christmas!

 

I'm JizzleJazzle and remember don't be good, be fabulous.

 

 

December 24, 2010NewsComments