JizzleJazzle's Horoscope Feb 13 - Feb 19 2010
Aries, Leo and Sagittarius:
Ever heard the phrase "mind yours?" Well, if ya ain't now it's time you get to know it. This week you will be tempted to bury your nose in everyone's business but honey fall back. If you feel the urge to stick your nose someplace it doesn't belong make sure it's up your you-know-what and not up someone else's.
Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo:
Baby it's time to stop feeling sorry for yourself because no one else does. Sure you may feel taken advantage of this week but moping around won't solve anything. So bust out some stilettos, a loud horrid 1980's business suit with zebra prints, transform your hair with a can of Aerosol until it reaches the ceiling and work that hairbrush into a microphone all up and down your hallway singing Patti LaBelle's, "I got a new attitude..." Fellas ya can get into this exercise of self-empowerment too with some Patti drag. Don't be scared!
Libra, Aquarius and Gemini:
This week you are a joy to behold. You bring light and sunshine into everyone's day with your upbeat energy. Now you know usually JizzleJazzle has something slick to say but all I can say this week is keep up the positive energy. Whatever you're doing this week to keep ya happy: uppers, pill-popping, aphrodisiacs just keep doin' it baby! (I kid, I kid-except for the aphrodisiacs).
Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces:
Uhm, you need to chill this week with all the criticisms. Your point comes across better when you tell someone nicely that they're getting to be the size of a house or that they smell like a dried up 87 year old snatch with moth balls. So play nice and be fair. Honesty is appreciated but only when it comes from love, like how I do (hehe)!
I'm JizzleJazzle and remember don't be good, be fabulous!