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JizzleJazzle's Horoscope Feb 20 - Feb 26 2010

February 20, 2010NewsComments

Aries, Leo and Sagittarius:

Creativity is in the air and you're inhaling it all.  Now it's time to exhale.  Let those creative juices squirt out and shoot all over the place.  Uhm, is this starting to sound a little too risqué?  You know what I mean!

 

Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo:

This week the last song you want to hear is "We are Family," and I don't blame ya.  Tell your uncle you ain't got $20; tell your grandmother stop talking about the end of days before it's the end of hers; tell your mama you'll get a romantic partner when she considers living at the nursing home instead of yo' crib; and tell your cousins they gotta babysit their own bad a** kids.  Family is great but don't let 'em drive you crazy now.  So tell them all to back off for the moment while you do you.

 

Libra, Aquarius and Gemini:
You might be tempted this week to do some things you know you shouldn't and one of them is cheating.  Let me tell ya it ain't worth it.  This advice comes from a former serial cheater who just couldn't resist the fire in my loins to jump on somebody's bones and starting chewing.  Ooooohhhhhweeeeee!  Child, all you gotta do is take a mental snapshot of the one you want to cheat with and when you're making love with your partner just put that mental snapshot back in your head.  Trust me it'll feel like an orgy for the price of one.

 

Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces:
Sometimes you can't see the mountain top when you're climbing up and it feels never ending.  But I want you to know that you gotta stay on course this week if you're to meet your goals.  Only losers give up on their dreams which is how I ended up here.  Bottom line: don't give up!

 

I'm JizzleJazzle and remember don't be good, be fabulous!

 

 

February 20, 2010NewsComments