JizzleJazzle's Horoscope Feb 25 - Mar 3, 2011
Sometimes you have to make the best out of a bad situation: hideous feet, cramps, drunkenness and gas included.
Aries, Leo and Sagittarius:
Bunions and corns are not only unsightly but uncomfortable too. They're also the perfect excuse to get out of running errands. You're always rushing to the store for your lover to pick up this or that so this time point to your toes and make them go to the sto'.
Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo:
Cramps can be a girl's best friend because they get you of awkward situations you don't want to be in. So during that one drunken decision to bring back the least attractive man to your apartment occurs and you find yourself wanting to vomit at the thought of kissing him, well just blame it on the cramps.
Libra, Aquarius and Gemini:
Getting punch drunk is never a good feeling but you can always make it a positive. So when you say a few things you shouldn't such as telling your long-time friend that you slept with his/her partner well you can laugh it off the next morning and say, "I was drunk." Riiiigggghhhhtttt.
Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces:
Bubble guts are the sweet sound of gas shooting fireworks in the air. Which poses the perfect excuse for you this week. Sometimes when you want privacy it's hard to get it around a house full of children so release those fireworks and you'll have the spot to yourself in no time. Bring a gas mask for your own safety.
I'm JizzleJazzle and remember don't be good, be fabulous.