JizzleJazzle's Horoscope Jan 20 - Feb 3, 2012
The joy of another week. The pain of looking into your future. Here we go.
Aries, Leo and Sagittarius:
We all get the blues from time to time for no apparent reason. All you need to do is go out to a bar, get drunk, get into a fight where you get the mess kicked out of you and go back home. Then you'll really have something to feel bad about.
Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo:
Sometimes the best way to get what you want is by smiling. Just make sure your teeth are in proper order. So it's time to keep that dental appointment and start getting your way.
Libra, Aquarius and Gemini:
You may be confused lately about which path to take but that's ok. Just know that whatever path you choose you'll end up where you're meant to be; even if it is with your pants around your ankles, an apple in your mouth, a chain around your neck and a copy of TV Guide in the back of an alley. Don't ask me what it all means.
Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces:
You've got a case of cold feet and it's not because you're about to get married or anything like that. You're just not choosing the right boots to stay warm in this cold season. And that's my shameless plug for these hot men and women's boots. Hey, not every week is gonna be a life changing revelation.
I'm JizzleJazzle and remember don't be good, be fabulous!