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JizzleJazzle's Horoscope July 16 - July 22, 2010

July 16, 2010NewsComments

No theme this week.  I'm just dropping the vision like I sees it and schooling you all on how to fake the charm, avoid trains, douching and making your ex wish they could still hit that.  You already know what time it is, don't cha?

 

Aries, Leo and Sagittarius:

This week you just need to be yourself and the world will fall to its knees ready to serve you in God knows any way imaginable.  Your light is shining and the floor is all yours.  Just remember when I say be yourself I mean be your best self-not the grouchy, crust-in-the eye, gossiping, low down nasty freak you are behind closed doors.  Okaaaayyyyy!?!

 

Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo:

Now is your chance to avoid becoming another train wreck and get your life back on the rails of success.  You are the conductor of this train so put on them emergency breaks if you have to and take a moment to get your course in order.  And in sticking with the whole train metaphor now is the perfect time for me to remind you to stop having trains run on you as well.  Uhmmm, hmmm you ain't think I'd go there now did ya?  I see things child...

Libra, Aquarius and Gemini:

Walk before you run.  Think before you talk.  Douche before you let loose.  Just a random rules I thought might be helpful for you this week.  That's all.

 

Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces:

You usually work hard but lately you've been a little lax.  It's time to rev up that energy and get back on point.  If you need motivation just think of that ex who did you dirty and how much you want to make them sick by being so successful without them.  And if that don't get ya working hard again then you're more hopeless than I thought.

 

I'm JizzleJazzle and remember don't be good, be fabulous.

 

July 16, 2010NewsComments