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JizzleJazzle's Horoscope June 1 - June 14, 2012

June 4, 2012NewsComments

Now that Beyonce done went and made a comeback on stage after only 5 months of pregnancy I guess I no longer have an excuse to be a lazy slob and avoid sharing my visions. Damn that girl for making everyone else seem like an underachiever. So here goes...I'm back.

 

Aries, Leo and Sagittarius:

Your challenge this week is to accept the truth and I am back to give it to you. You're too busy meddling in the affairs of others that you're becoming a hypocrite. And nobody likes a hypocrite but we sure will vote one into political office. On second thought you might want to consider a career change.

 

Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo:

You really don't need me this week. What you need is mercy. You've been crazy cranky for a while and it's time we get to the root cause of it all. You missed me. Okay well maybe not but it's obvious you're missing something. So be honest and go ahead and call up your boo to say I'm sorry. Just remember there is no a**hole in sorry. So keep it friendly.

 

Libra, Aquarius and Gemini:

Since I've been gone you've been doing pretty well for yourself. Well minus that DUI, that eviction notice and oh yeah, that unfortunate "cold sore" on your lip. Hmph, we already know. So this week I'll need you to get your life back on track starting with the powers of meditation. And if that doesn't work just meet me at the nearest bar.

 

Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces:

Time seems to be moving slower than ever for you this week. It ain't time babe it's just been the longing you've had for me. Ok I am so kidding but not really. Wanna meet up?

 

I'm JizzleJazzle and remember don't be good, be fabulous!

 

 

June 4, 2012NewsComments