My crystal ball needs some Windex this week but you'll get the points.
Aries, Leo and Sagittarius:
I know you love a good 'ole adventure but sometimes its better to relax a little. I know that can be hard for you so pop a Valium if you need to and sit yo' azz down somewhere.
Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo:
It can be hard to forgive and forget, especially when you have to forgive a relative and forget that they are banging out your ex. Yup, ish happens so save the drama for Thanksgiving Day when it counts.
Libra, Aquarius and Gemini:
Something pretty embarrassing may happen to you this week. The only thing is you're likely the one who initiated it just to get some attention. But don't let anyone else know that. So when those boozed up naked images of you spread eagled on a chair are mysteriously displayed on all the computer monitors at your job, just blame it on a hacker like this one and this one oh, and this one.
Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces:
The battle to lose weight is causing you to lose sight of what's important in life like greed and overindulgence. All you need to do is replace food with sex and you're a-okay.
I'm JizzleJazzle and remember don't be good, be fabulous.