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JizzleJazzle's Horoscope June 18 - June 24, 2010

June 21, 2010NewsComments

Oh no she didn't!  In a recent radio interview with "Big Boy's Neighborhood," Ciara placed top dollar on herself to beat out Janet Jackson in a dance-off.  Uhm, excuse me but didn't Miss Jackson school you and just about every other dance diva and now you wanna challenge the queen of dance?  Well, this week is all about dancing.  I know we all like to get our groove on but some of us need to groove the f*** off and sit our asses down in a corner and stop making a damn fool of ourselves.  SMH.  Read on.

 

Aries, Leo and Sagittarius:

Baby you are so damn extra and everybody loves it!  No one gets the party started like you with your agility, perfect lines and high energy moves.  You're the original party starter, motivator and well you should be 'cause it ain't like you got a life.  If I neglected all my priorities and spent all my damn time in the club I'd all be great like you too.  Honey, it might be time for you to get a new hobby.  I only tell you 'cause I love you.

Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo:

You got way too many problems on your hands this week (bills, heartbreak and trifling friends) to be hitting the dance floor.  You can't dip it low 'cause your heart is already as low as it's gonna get.  So stop moping around on the dance floor and go get drunk.  When you pass out you'll give a whole new meaning to dropping on the dance floor.

 

Libra, Aquarius and Gemini:

Everybody who hits the dance floor knows rule number one (no, it's not smack the trick next to you with your weave who thinks she can steal your man with the swivel in her hips) it is: watch the B.O.  And baby...baby...when you get started that B.O. turns into B.O.M.B.  Now pile on the deodorant before you start shaking it in the crowd or else you'll have the whole dance floor to yourself.

Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces:

You's freaky!  But it's time you quit turning the dance floor into a private strip club performance.  Nobody wants to see your clitoris from across the room as you bend over, drop it low, and spread-eagle on a handstand.  Tone.  It.  Down.

 

I'm JizzleJazzle and remember don't be good, be fabulous!

 

 

June 21, 2010NewsComments