JizzleJazzle's Horoscope June 4 - June 10, 2010
I just can't. We have lost another golden angel and this time it's the most scandalous one of them all Blanche. Now in real life Blanche, wasn't scandalous at all she was the sophisticated and talented, Rue McClanahan. But she'll always be Blanche in our book. Who can forget her hilarious promiscuity, sometimes delusional sense of vanity and sexy southern drawl? Rue joins Estelle Getty (Sophia) and Bea Arthur (Dorothy) in cheesecake heaven (Lord, I pray there really is such a place). Now we're left with Betty White (Rose) to carry on the torch of representing for the sexiest, funniest and baddest chicks in TV land. This one's in honor of my girls!
Aries, Leo and Sagittarius:
Remember how much the golden girls loved cheesecake? Well this week you're gonna love it just as much. It's gonna be an emotional rollercoaster and you'll need a slice for every dip, turn, spin and lift coming your way. So pig out, cry out but just don't get mad at me when it's over and you gained about 10 pounds where you were trying to lose 20.
Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo:
Sex, sex, sex. If there's one word to describe Blanche it is-you know it! So why not honor her memory by whoring all around town this week? That's right so go on and get it in, up down and spin it all around. Blanch was the perfect example that sluts can be classy so wave yo' freak flag this week.
Libra, Aquarius and Gemini:
It's time to speak your mind. You've been holding back long enough and Sophia sure wouldn't like that. So you're gonna say some things you thought you never had the balls to say; just don't drop them balls and backtrack. You hold your balls, cradle them and throw 'em in the faces of your haters. Ok, enough with the balls analogy.
Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces
Wise up child. Your head has been so far up under someone's a-hole that you can smell s*** 20 miles away but you're not following your inner sense of smell. It's time to stop being so naïve like Rose. Once you get a whiff of bulls*** you need to stand up to it or you'll just get stuck in it making you full of you know what...
I'm JizzleJazzle and remember don't be good, be fabulous!