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JizzleJazzle's Horoscope Mar 11 - Mar 17, 2011

March 11, 2011NewsComments

In honor of Charlie Sheen's popularity of the Twitter trend #Winning this week is all about the signs to let you know you are not losing.

Aries, Leo and Sagittarius:

You know you're #winning if you're able to get a discount at the bar simply by delivering a joke that you are not the butt of and I mean, literally.  No butt up in the air, doing a crazy "look at me be cute" dance that you despreratly resort to when drunk and trying to get a laugh.

Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo:

You're #winning if you're able to reach down and touch your toes without someone in back of you saying, "I promise, it won't hurt."

Libra, Aquarius and Gemini:

You're #winning if Charlie Sheen calls you up for advice despite the fact that you're the one being held in a straitjacket.  On second thought that's probably exactly why he would call you.

Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces:

You're #winning if you can finally make it on time to all your appointments without being delayed by finishing a draft of President Obama's speech, negotiating a hostage situation, giving Beyonce a Brazilian wax or whatever else absurd excuse you usually give.

 

March 11, 2011NewsComments