JizzleJazzle's Horoscope Mar 25 - Mar 31, 2011
Sometimes we can learn the most from the mistakes of others. Let this be a lesson.
Aries, Leo and Sagittarius:
Normally, when you're too tired to get out of bed or be social I'd say hit the snooze button but if this 119-year old woman can still dress herself, then you have no excuse. Let this woman be your motivation this week you lazy bum!
Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo:
Any other week I would get on you for your pattern of tardiness but if Elizabeth Taylor can be late to her own funeral then we should all be allowed a grace period.
Libra, Aquarius and Gemini:
I would tell you to watch how much lalala you puff but if Whoopi Goldberg can get high as two Valley girls at a mall sample sale hosted by Luke Perry (I'm forever stuck in the '90's) then who am I to tell you any different? Just make sure you're kind enough to pass that dutch.
Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces:
Ever get so angry you could just throw a chair against a window, run out into the streets with your shirt off, let off more steam by playing basketball and then go hanging with your crew later on like nothing ever happened? Well when you get the urge this weekend to act out just remember, make sure your arms match the rest of your body.
I'm JizzleJazzle and remember don't be good, be fabulous.