JizzleJazzle's Horoscope Mar 4 - Mar 10, 2011

March 5, 2011NewsComments110 Views

Grand delusions, getting exposed, talentless hacks and bad luck.  It's all in the cards this week.


Aries, Leo and Sagittarius:

Sometimes you need to be brought back down to earth and reminded that as wonderful as you think you are, well you do have some shortcomings.  So take a long self-inventory before you turn into Aretha Franklin thinking she has even the slightest resemblance to Halle Berry.


Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo:

You haven't been careful enough with safeguarding your illicit activities.  So what's the best way to explain damaging photos of you that might get posted on Facebook?  Blame an ex (everyone knows they are crazy) and praise Jesus.  It worked for Bobbi Kristina.


Libra, Aquarius and Gemini:

I'll give you props this week for stepping outside of your comfort zone and challenging yourself to expand your talents.  However when it comes to some things you're about as skilled as Kim Kardashian.  If she can't excel when asked to get off her back, form a complete sentence or remove the robot chip out of her behind what makes you think you're any different?  Case in point.

Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces:

This week your luck is worse than Rodney King being pulled over a day before the 20th anniversary of his own police beating.  I recommend you count your blessings and then prepare to say farewell to at least half of them.


I'm JizzleJazzle and remember don't be good, be fabulous.



March 5, 2011NewsComments110 Views