JizzleJazzle's Horoscope March 19 - 25 2010
Aries, Leo and Sagittarius:
You might want to stay offline today and that's because you have a leak. I'm not talking about the kind you can't stop from dripping down your legs after one too many drinks at the bar. I'm talking about naked photos, private texts and emails and all kinds of salaciousness. You're quite vulnerable this week and it looks like more than one skeleton will be coming out of your closet. By the way, one of them skeletons just might be that you're in the closet. Don't act like you don't know who you are!
Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo:
Like "dumb blondes" such as Marilyn Monroe, Anna Nicole Smith and Jessica Simpson you know that acting like you can't tell your ass from your mouth can get you just about anything you want and then some. Now is the time to follow through on that knowledge. The company you surround yourself with this week doesn't want to be upstaged by your brilliance so "dumb" down and take notes so that in the end you come out on top.
Libra, Aquarius and Gemini:
Be careful before you go singing on the dotted line, both literally and figuratively speaking. Your mind just ain't up to it this week. So make sure you take extra precaution before you commit to a decision or else you'll be out of money, overworking yourself and doing sexual favors that your body just ain't flexible enough to handle. Now that's what I call bending over backwards to get the job done.
Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces:
You can find love today so long as you stay home! Sorry to break the bad news but love ain't out there for you this week in them clubs, back alleys and glory holes you been peeping into. Love is right there in the mirror looking back at you. So get to know yourself and find the love you've been looking for-until next week's glory hole session, that is.
I'm JizzleJazzle and remember don't be good, be fabulous!