JizzleJazzle's Horoscope March 26 - April 1, 2010
Aries, Leo and Sagittarius:
You love to project yourself as sexy, smart and confident but not everyone seems to agree this week. Seems you've been eating one too many donuts lately, watching way too many reality shows instead of reading and stroking your ego a little too often like you stroke your you-know-what. I'll be the first one to tell ya like it is and honey it ain't what you think it is. It's time you get real with you first so the world sees your true beauty.
Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo:
What about your friends? TLC sang it and now is your week to live it. There's one particular friend that you're gonna have to keep your eye on who will try and pull the wool over your eyes while placing the knife in your back. Girlfriend has a serious case against you honey and wants to bring you to your knees faster than a prostitute in the red light district. Question you'll have to ask yourself is why, oh, why? Here's a hint: you probably left your lipstick on her man's chest. Karma is a _____!
Libra, Aquarius and Gemini:
It's all about positive thinking this week as you need all the confidence you can muster. So when you look in the mirror and see rolls on your stomach think of them as ruffles of love. When you trip all around like a klutz think of it as improv choreography. And when you realize that all this positive thinking ain't helping at all think of it as blowing smoke up a camel's butt and move on!
Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces:
This is your week to put every drunk on reality TV to shame and live it up! Your responsibilities will be limited, your cash limitless and your libido pushed to the limit. So get crunk, touch somebody's junk but just remember don't drive home drunk. Ooooh wow I'm rhyming, maybe I should rapping, is this getting corny, okay I'll stop yapping.
I'm JizzleJazzle and remember don't be good, be fabulous!