JizzleJazzle's Horoscope May 21 - May 27, 2010
Everybody and their mama, cousins and nieces love money but not everybody including their mama, cousins and nieces know how to use it. That's why this week I'm giving you tips on getting your dollars together.
Aries, Leo and Sagittarius:
Slowly put down the credit card, turn away from the counter and exit the store without a backwards glance 'cause chile you need to reign in that spending of yours. You've been a-splurging and ringing up items like a new-to-the-game rapper with their first (and probably last) hit. It's time to act like ya got some sense and stop the stupiditary! Yup, I just made up a new world 'cause that's how pissed off your spending habits are making me.
Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo:
20 must be your favorite number 'cause you're always asking for a spare $20 so you can smoke a 420 and pay back on the 20th of the next month. So stop acting like you're 20. As Keri Hilson would say "Get your money up, Get your money up!" That's right it's time to stop begging for handouts and take back your pride this week.
Libra, Aquarius and Gemini:
We done all been there. Meeting someone who gives sex so good you just can't help but want to buy them everything in the world. But honey that kinda loving just don't last. Once they find the next baller they leave you high and dry (literally if ya catch my drift). Don't treat your money like you do your legs-spreading it all around town! Ya heard?!
Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces
It's time to treat yourself to a little sumthin' sumthin'. You been so good helping out the freeloading family and friends that you forgot what it's like to enjoy your own money. So lay your dollars out on the bed, get naked and lay all up in it, take a bath in it, make love in it. Do whatever ya want 'cause baby it's yours!
I'm JizzleJazzle and remember don't be good, be fabulous!