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JizzleJazzle's Horoscope May 28 - June 3, 2010

May 28, 2010NewsComments

As Barbara Streisand sang in “The Way We Were,” “Memories/Like the corners of my mind/Misty water-colored memories…” blah, blah, blah! Sometimes memories are a pain, sometimes they are a joy, sometimes you need to think about the future and stop living in the past. And sometimes you can’t remember a damn thing! Well this week is all about memory (or lack thereof) so check it.

Aries, Leo and Sagittarius:

You’re feeling quite nostalgic this weekend so kick out those bell bottoms, afro wig and party like it’s 1975. Go ahead and embrace your old school flavor and let these new jacks know who put it down first. When you step out in the club you better hurt somebody!

Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo:

You’ve got the missing blues this week. You miss your old hips, your old cheekbones and your old butt. You even miss your old ex. Honey, don’t look too far back or you just may stuck in a moment you can’t get out of. Time heals all wounds but it don’t make ya any hotter so just deal with it babe and move on!

Libra, Aquarius and Gemini:

Remember that one lover who put it on you like no other? Remember how you were sprung and was spending your paycheck on them every week? Remember how that lover hit you off good one last time, stopped returning your calls and ya ain’t had a real orgasm since? Remember how foolish you felt? Good, let that be a lesson learned. Tough love, baby!

Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces

You’re moving so fast that you can barely remember if you’re wearing underwear or not. Go ahead and check now with yo naughty self… It’s time to slow down and think back to a time when you were less busy and a whole lot more lazy. Sure it’s good to work hard but if you can’t remember what you working so hard for then tell me, really…?

I'm JizzleJazzle and remember don't be good, be fabulous!

May 28, 2010NewsComments