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JizzleJazzle's Horoscope November 19 - 25, 2010

November 19, 2010NewsComments

I'm back on my rants this week with advice for the broke, the insecure, the freaky and the irritable bowel syndrome folks.  Oh yea, I'm going in.

Aries, Leo and Sagittarius:

If you want to make change first you need a dollar and baby, you ain't got nothing to your name this week.  But that's alright because who needs money to make life more difficult with people begging you for cash, the accumulation of more bills and not knowing where you should invest?  Have you seen what money did to folks like MC Hammer?  'Nuff said.

Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo:

Apparently manhood isn't found within yourself, learned from your male role models or anything sentimental like that.  If you're like T.I., and I know most of ya'll are it's found in prison around a bunch of other men who wash their private parts in public.  So since you're feeling a little insecure this week, go ahead act a fool, get locked up and find yo' manhood.  Dropping the soap may or may not help.

Libra, Aquarius and Gemini:

Hide yo' man!  Hide yo' woman!  Hide yo' dog because cheaters are getting caught this week and you need to keep a tight leash on your partner or pet for that matter.   Yup, cheaters are getting freakier by the minute.  So keep your eyes open and watch the signs.  If any stranger tries to pet your dog you already know...

Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces:

If you ever wanted to know what it feels like to jump off a mountaintop then this is your week.  Trust me you might as well bungee jump while your bowels are all clear.

I'm JizzleJazzle and remember don't be good, be fabulous.

 

 

November 19, 2010NewsComments