JizzleJazzle's Horoscope November 5 - Nov 11, 2010

November 5, 2010NewsComments170 Views

You've got dreams to chase, some freakish partying to do, a rash to handle and some feet that need tending to. Don't let me hold you up. Get the scoop after the dump-I mean jump!

Aries, Leo and Sagittarius:

You have no excuse not to pursue your passion this week. When you have folks like Bravo's "Real Housewives of Atlanta," Kim Zolciak working on a music career anything is possible...anything!!! Do you hear me?!?! So get some damn confidence and show the world that there's room for more than one talentless drone to find success. Go get 'em!

Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo:

It is never too late to start enjoying the finer things in life: promiscuous sex, excessive spending and passing out in back alleys after clubbing a little too hard. You've been a square long enough and now it's time to have some fun this week like any trashy lowdown skank would. Get it in, girl!

Libra, Aquarius and Gemini:

There is something causing you great discomfort in life this week and no it's not the newfound rash near your groin (although you should really look into that). What's causing you to feel uneasy is the fact that you're not being honest with yourself about your work and love life. So take a moment and look within to find out where the hell you're going. But, uhm, handle that itchy rash first, please.

Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces:

Whatever you do don't look down because your feet are looking like you just put them through a grinder, glued the pieces back together and then ran through a dump site. Okay maybe I'm exaggerating but just a little. It's a sign that you haven't been taking good care of yourself. So please get a pedi and look after yourself this week.

I'm JizzleJazzle and remember don't be good, be fabulous.


November 5, 2010NewsComments170 Views