JizzleJazzle's Horoscope Sept 30-Oct 6, 2011
Everyone gets the tireds sometimes, especially the lazy folks. Isn't that odd? Anyway, here's how to handle a case of the terrible awful zzzzz's.
Aries, Leo and Sagittarius:
One of the best ways to cure the tireds is to become way over exhausted with a backbreaking lovemaking session and then immediately fall asleep on your partner's chest. Oh wait, you do that on the regular.
Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo:
The tireds has you losing your brain cells. You're consistently forgetting things and can't remember your own children's names. But no worries I'm pretty sure your nanny who actually raises them can remind you.
Libra, Aquarius and Gemini:
The best way to ensure you'll have a peaceful dream is to fall asleep with a sweet aroma in the air. Sounds great, until your lactose intolerant partner breaks wind and ruins any chances of that happening.
Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces:
Most people avoid having sex when they're tired but this is the perfect time to get away with doing nothing but lying on your back. I hear a bunch of celebrity stars pull this trick quite often.
I'm JizzleJazzle and remember don't be good, be fabulous.