JizzleJazzle's Horoscope September 17 - 24, 2010
Fashion Week may have come to a close but it's never too late for me to play fashion police. This week I'm going in on ya'll that need to be locked up for disturbing the fashion peace.
Aries, Leo and Sagittarius:
Who's the one running the fashion game? You are baby! Naomi's catwalk is a limp compared to your hood swagger meets diva stride. Tyra's one million ways to smile with your eyes doesn't compete with the smile of your butt crack peeking out above your low riders. And Angelina Jolie's lips are nothing compared to the smackers known as your camel toe. Now that's what I call class.
Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo:
Nope, the best accessory isn't always new underwear, a belt or bag. Sometimes the only accessory you need is some surgery. Now don't get me wrong I'm all about self-love which is why if you really love yourself you'll lift up that chin dragging on the floor, pack away those bags into storage and tuck that camel toe for dear life.
Libra, Aquarius and Gemini:
The devil does not wear Prada. She actually wears Kmart, Marshall's and Target. Yup, that's because the devil is you. This week your attitude needs some readjusting because no matter how much you make a bargain bin item look like a million bucks, it don't mean a thing if you can't smile once in a while.
Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces:
It's time you stop reaching back into your closet going farther down memory lane than Naomi Campbell's hairline. You're only pulling up long gone fashion statements that will not serve you in this day and age. I swear for the last time, no one is rocking dickies. Well maybe except for Kim Kardashian, but it's only because the name reminds her so much of the reason why she was placed on this earth.
I'm JizzleJazzle and remember don't be good, be fabulous.