The Look of Love Part One: Style & Dating Tips
By Souleo. Certain people have the look of love: bedroom eyes, seemingly effortless style that accentuates their body and a confidence in their walk that attracts potential mates wherever they go. Others don't have this look and the fact is that most of us can use some style tips when it comes to dating. So in anticipation of Valentine's Day JimmyJazz teamed up with veteran music/entertainment journalist and relationship expert, Anslem Samuel to get some insight on how to dress for love.
In addition to writing for XXL, Essence, Vibe, King and more he is the 2009 Black Weblog Award winning founder/blogger of the popular sex and relationship site, NakedWithSocksOn.com. On the site Anslem covers everything including cheating and masturbation to his hugely popular Wet Wednesday's erotica stories. Read on below for part one of the look of love interview where Anslem discusses the turn-offs of "panty waste," why guys need to upgrade their style game, how to tell your mate to switch up their style, dressing tips for that ever important first date and more.
On the fashion turn-offs for men:
One thing for sure is panty waste. This is when women wear jeans and a short shirt with their panty and thongs hanging out. That's not sexy at all even though you might look.
On the fashion turn-offs for women:
It's a matter of being too casual. Women get dressed up for a date and for the guy to show up in a white T-shirt and baggy jeans is gonna be a turn-off. If she is putting her best foot forward you have to as well.
On how to and how not to dress on a first date:
It's a matter of being yourself. If you're a fashionista show your style but don't go over-the-top. Some women go too sexy. There's a balance between the two. So having cleavage too out isn't advised if you want him to know you and not your body. For guys a nice pair of jeans and a button up shirt tucked in or out works.
On how to address your mate's lack of style:
It's touchy but ideally you upgrade each other and learn things. If you're watching TV or passing someone you can tell them you think that outfit would be sexy on them. That way you make the suggestion a compliment as opposed to telling them what to buy or that you hate what they wear. It's about being positive.
On his own dating fashion mistakes:
In college a girlfriend and I were having our anniversary. At the time I didn't dress up. All I wore was baggy jeans and T-shirts. So it's the middle of summer and I threw on Sean John pants and his short sleeve sweater 'cause she said wear something nice. I was so hot and uncomfortable the entire time. It was a mess.
On when fashion is a deal breaker:
Early on in the relationship there's not that much commitment so little petty things can turn you off. But if you been with them for years that's petty to break-up over clothing. Now if the fashion is indicative of negative lifestyle choices then I can understand. But at the end of the day you're there for the person not what they wear.
Check out Anslem's blog here:
Photo By: Kenroy George